[Her shoulders bob in a shrug. How would she really know?]
I'm just not really sure where I'm supposed to...fit in, there. The family stuff is always going to take priority for me, even if I end up stuck at "friend" status or lower for some of the guys, but I should probably make some kinda attempt to understand shit better. Right?
[But she doesn't sound super sure and the explanation she's got is pretty...Izabel. She clearly doesn't think she's got the full picture, or at least feels like it's still some weird concept just out of reach.]
We're a triangle with wonky sides, also there are triangles inside the triangle. We protect the family, we protect whatever's "home", we make points with pointy objects sometimes.
Ultimately, no matter what, you will always answer to Giorno and follow his orders. [Assuming Giorno even would order Izabel. Bruno senses Giorno would be more likely to ask her and respect whatever decision she reaches for herself unless circumstances were dire. But he doesn't foresee that any time in the near future.] He's given me total authority over Abbacchio and Narancia. Normally, he wouldn't do something like that because it would potentially dangerous and destabilizing, but he knows my loyalty is to him. Following me means following him in the end, it's simply more comfortable for Abbacchio and Narancia to follow me than it is to follow Giorno.
That places Mista and I on a similar level in that neither one of us answer to anyone but Giorno. Your position is beneath that along the same lines as Abbacchio, Narancia, and Fugo.
[But he says "along the same lines as," not "the same as." He knows them; seniority matters. They won't acknowledge her as an equal until she proves herself to them in some way, and even then they may never openly acknowledge it.]
[Ah. Dead crew, minus her. They'd already died for Bruno, of course he'd be the one they'd be most willing to do so for again.]
Mmn... [Well, it's acknowledgement that she gets it, but it doesn't sound very satisfied. She's still...out, in comparison, and even if Trish showed up in all her late-to-the-mafia glory, it wouldn't be the same with her, either.] I just -- it doesn't feel like enough, you know? Like, sure, I can win 'em over, but I want...to be useful.
[Like Narancia.]
I do like the whole "make everything normal and better" job I've been given, but my normal doesn't always match up with everyone else's. If something happens and they go, "oh, Izabel, you just don't get it" then I can't really fight against that, can I? I don't get what it was like, I only get Giorno.
[So she wants more to do is what Bruno is getting from this. Normally it'd be easy for him to hand out jobs for her because there was never nothing to do in Napoli. Even something as simple as checking in with the people and showing kindness towards the elderly was important work that needed doing from time-to-time. Especially with the way Diavolo was abusing the community...]
[But here? Here it's quiet. He knows Giorno has plans, but there probably won't be much opposition involved. Never mind Bruno doesn't really believe Izabel would be the sort willing to kill even if it were something possible for her to do. Not without damn good reason and protecting territory might not be enough for her in the same way it is for the others. Which is where some of Bruno's hesitation comes from.]
You know what we do normally, right? The sort of things my team has been ordered to do in the past?
[This is said very seriously with a slight shift in his demeanor. Some of the gentleness recedes because there are some things he can talk around to others, but when it comes to matters like this to members of the family? Not at all.]
[That kind of awareness of her boundaries and his authoritative way are the reasons why Izabel felt comfortable bringing this to him to begin with.]
Nothing...specific. Giorno mentioned a few of the things happening in the old Passione, but I don't know if that was anything your team did. Abbacchio said something about keeping people off turf and saying "fuck you". A lot of stuff I can pretty much guess -- you guys are the loud kind of subtle and I've got an imagination.
[He's surprised that Abbacchio would have been willing to speak in euphemisms like that. It's not his usual style, which really only speaks to how much he likes Izabel.]
I'm sure you do, but I'd rather you know for certain.
My team was never involved in the drugs or prostitution. You could think of us more as enforcers. We protected our territory by any means necessary, whether that meant stealing, beating someone, or even killing. The difference between Diavolo and Giorno is that Giorno wouldn't order anything extreme for his own personal interests and he wouldn't lie about it. But orders like that wouldn't be uncommon if there was opposition or a threat to Passione or the community here. He would do his best to keep orders like that falling to someone like Narancia or you, but that doesn't mean they wouldn't exist.
Regardless, our lives are bloody, Izabel. We are expected to kill or die for one another and for our ideals without hesitation.
[Even though she hadn't thought they were a part of it, Izabel is visibly relieved when he confirms that they had nothing to do with selling drugs and women. That -- that was good. That was what had bothered her more than anything. She nods, looking down (which was really up) as her lips flattened in thought.]
...Yeah. I figured that. It's...more direct than what I'm used to, but my parents did some pretty bad shit for what they believed in, and Hazel's family was inclined towards violence when it came down to it. It isn't hard to think of Giorno as my Hazel here. [A corner of her mouth turns up.] A very deadly Hazel, but a Hazel all the same. Still...
[She exhales breezily, glancing off to the side.]
Not used to missions. I stayed out of that shit as much as I could, and then I got my free out. I will if I can, sure, just... It's a fact that exists, I guess. You get me?
I get you, [Bruno says with a small nod.] You can always trust that I will never ask you to do something that goes against your beliefs or pushes beyond your limits. I would sooner do it myself in that case.
It's as much my duty to protect you as it is yours to do as I say.
[And that's how it works from Bruno's perspective, but it's also why he could have never been don. Being don requires a certain degree of selfishness to demand protection without needlessly jeopardizing others. Giorno has enough of that to do well. Not that he has a perfect balance just yet, mind you, but he's learning.]
[Duh? She trusts him on a lot of things. She isn't to Narancia- or Abbacchio-level devotion, not for Bruno, but he was the one that first invited her into the family and it wasn't like their relationship involved a lot of fond sighing over manipulation. Bruno was very...calming and gentle, to her.]
I know I'm enough for you and for Giorno, and Abbacchio's been letting me call him my friend, now. [Among other things.] I just [pause.] want to be accepted.
[Bruno arches a brow, visibly confused. Abbacchio is allowing her to acknowledge they have a friendship and she's concerned about being accepted? Even if she didn't already have support from Giorno or Bruno (or Mista, if he had to guess)... well, Abbacchio wouldn't fight her battles for her. She'd need to do that herself to ever truly fit in. But that doesn't mean he wouldn't be a presence that would settle some of it down simply by not engaging in antagonizing her. And she must know that or she wouldn't have mentioned Abbacchio's support whatsoever.]
[Still, Bruno recognizes it was a hard thing for her to say and he must respect that, so he tempers his initial reaction to think of it from her perspective for a moment. She's coming from a place where she had a family and a home (albeit one that was a little more mobile) and now inserting herself into a family that has already existed long before her joining. On top of that, she's having to learn the hierarchy and the politics that make up the backbone of their gang. And on top of that even still, she's trying to do so without just taking up space and not providing anything back. She's in a difficult position and he can appreciate that.]
They were all in the position you are in now, stellina. [Hm, no. That's not quite right. He corrects himself,] We all were. Fugo had been disinherited. Abbacchio had no direction. Narancia was homeless and ill. Mista had been thrown in jail. Giorno lacked opportunity. My father's life was in danger.
We all started from the same place you're in now, but none of us found acceptance the same exact way because we're not the same people. What worked for one of them or for me won't necessarily work for you. I can't tell you what to do and I can't make them accept you any faster than they're ready or able to.
But I can tell you that the others will accept you. It may take time and it may be a daunting task, but they will. If you had to do anything or be anyone other than exactly who you are, I wouldn't have made the offer to you. If you can't believe in yourself, then trust my judgment. [He smiles a little.] I don't make it a habit of being wrong about people after all.
[so how long until the inspiring speech skill kicks in again]
...Hmn. [And the video goes awry a moment as she rights herself and sets about fixing her hair. It feels a little wrong to be hearing this, being privy even to these small pieces of them without context, but that's hers, now. Hers to consider and keep.] Yeah. Yeah, I can...trust you on that one, too.
[Even if they had no reason to consider it, even if the only reason she could give them was that she was good for conversation.]
I still want to do stuff. But I guess my stuff is kinda stuck being different for a while. Which isn't so bad.
[By day 90. Unless you are a shonen protag, in which case you have that by about day 5 at the absolute latest.]
[That's why Bruno didn't provide context. Even if she asked, the only story he'd tell is his own. It's not his place to speak of where the others come from. That's for them to eventually decided on their own if they want to tell her or not. But she did need to know that the loneliness, the difficulties in finding her place, all of it is normal. It's why they came to Passione in the first place.]
Different is good, [Bruno agrees.] I think all of us could use different every now and again.
Good thing I've got different in spades, then. I'm so good at different. Shit's going to be so different, you won't even believe it but you'll have to because nobody could possibly make up a difference like that.
Then I'm glad to have something to look forward to. I was beginning to worry that things were going to start getting quiet around here even with Narancia and Fugo around.
Where Fugo is concerned, it's a...complicated matter. He was the first I chose to join my team, but he was the only one to stay behind that night in Venezia when I betrayed the former boss.
I don't begrudge him for making his choice, if that's what you mean to ask. The others...
[Bruno sighs a little.]
They're not wrong to be angry with him or even to reject him. His decision was a betrayal to me. I didn't order him to follow and he disobeyed, but the others expected that his loyalty and trust in me should have been greater than his fears or whatever reservations he had about the task ahead of us like it was for them. And for that, the others see him as a traitor. Worse than that, they see him as a coward. Neither of those things are acceptable in our gang and I leave it to you to figure out what happens to cowards and traitors.
[Spoilers: death.]
But those aren't my feelings towards him or even Giorno's. I won't tell you whether or not you should accept him, or even whether or not you should like him, but he is still part of this family as far as Giorno and I are concerned until he says he wants out. I still have trust in him.
[But Bruno's not saying he trusts Fugo as much as he used to. He's not taking things to the extreme like the others out of respect for Fugo's ability to decide his own fate, but that doesn't mean damage wasn't still done. It doesn't mean it didn't still hurt to leave him behind because he chose to stay. There simply wasn't time for dwelling on it or worrying about it. It was meant to be something to dealt with later by Giorno, not Bruno because by then it was too late and Bruno knew that well enough. So he tucked that away in his heart, beneath what needed to be done and adding in later his grief for Abbacchio and Narancia.]
But if he says he wants out, he will walk away freely.
[It's not something Bruno knows for certain that Giorno would allow, but he'd like to believe that would be the case. At the very least, Bruno would never stop advocating for Fugo even after everything.]
[You don't just ditch Bruno that is wrong. He believes so much, it's not hard to believe in him right back, and Fugo just didn't do that for some reason, the jerkwad. Though, honestly speaking, she's gotten most of her feelings out already, with Fugo's walk to the house.]
...Sooo.
[Pause.]
When were you planning on the whole Stand warning thing? Not necessary, obviously, but just curious.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
[video; december 4th I guess idgaf]
[...Judging by the way her hair is looking like it's defying gravity, she's probably upside-down.]
[video; u r such a rebel!!!]
[Here he thought you already had it perfectly in-hand.]
[video; the most rebel!!]
Not, like, all of it. I think I've mostly got the family part covered, it's...the organization part of this mafia business I don't get so much.
[video; swoons at your badassery]
[Yes, that does tend to happen when half the squad that was dead comes back to life among other things. Thank you, Bruno. Thank you.]
[video; witness or something??]
I'm just not really sure where I'm supposed to...fit in, there. The family stuff is always going to take priority for me, even if I end up stuck at "friend" status or lower for some of the guys, but I should probably make some kinda attempt to understand shit better. Right?
[video; or somethings!!!]
[That gets her farther than she might anticipate.]
[video; oh wow multiple somethings idk man]
[But she doesn't sound super sure and the explanation she's got is pretty...Izabel. She clearly doesn't think she's got the full picture, or at least feels like it's still some weird concept just out of reach.]
We're a triangle with wonky sides, also there are triangles inside the triangle. We protect the family, we protect whatever's "home", we make points with pointy objects sometimes.
[video]
Ultimately, no matter what, you will always answer to Giorno and follow his orders. [Assuming Giorno even would order Izabel. Bruno senses Giorno would be more likely to ask her and respect whatever decision she reaches for herself unless circumstances were dire. But he doesn't foresee that any time in the near future.] He's given me total authority over Abbacchio and Narancia. Normally, he wouldn't do something like that because it would potentially dangerous and destabilizing, but he knows my loyalty is to him. Following me means following him in the end, it's simply more comfortable for Abbacchio and Narancia to follow me than it is to follow Giorno.
That places Mista and I on a similar level in that neither one of us answer to anyone but Giorno. Your position is beneath that along the same lines as Abbacchio, Narancia, and Fugo.
[But he says "along the same lines as," not "the same as." He knows them; seniority matters. They won't acknowledge her as an equal until she proves herself to them in some way, and even then they may never openly acknowledge it.]
[video]
Mmn... [Well, it's acknowledgement that she gets it, but it doesn't sound very satisfied. She's still...out, in comparison, and even if Trish showed up in all her late-to-the-mafia glory, it wouldn't be the same with her, either.] I just -- it doesn't feel like enough, you know? Like, sure, I can win 'em over, but I want...to be useful.
[Like Narancia.]
I do like the whole "make everything normal and better" job I've been given, but my normal doesn't always match up with everyone else's. If something happens and they go, "oh, Izabel, you just don't get it" then I can't really fight against that, can I? I don't get what it was like, I only get Giorno.
[video]
[But here? Here it's quiet. He knows Giorno has plans, but there probably won't be much opposition involved. Never mind Bruno doesn't really believe Izabel would be the sort willing to kill even if it were something possible for her to do. Not without damn good reason and protecting territory might not be enough for her in the same way it is for the others. Which is where some of Bruno's hesitation comes from.]
You know what we do normally, right? The sort of things my team has been ordered to do in the past?
[This is said very seriously with a slight shift in his demeanor. Some of the gentleness recedes because there are some things he can talk around to others, but when it comes to matters like this to members of the family? Not at all.]
[video]
Nothing...specific. Giorno mentioned a few of the things happening in the old Passione, but I don't know if that was anything your team did. Abbacchio said something about keeping people off turf and saying "fuck you". A lot of stuff I can pretty much guess -- you guys are the loud kind of subtle and I've got an imagination.
[video]
I'm sure you do, but I'd rather you know for certain.
My team was never involved in the drugs or prostitution. You could think of us more as enforcers. We protected our territory by any means necessary, whether that meant stealing, beating someone, or even killing. The difference between Diavolo and Giorno is that Giorno wouldn't order anything extreme for his own personal interests and he wouldn't lie about it. But orders like that wouldn't be uncommon if there was opposition or a threat to Passione or the community here. He would do his best to keep orders like that falling to someone like Narancia or you, but that doesn't mean they wouldn't exist.
Regardless, our lives are bloody, Izabel. We are expected to kill or die for one another and for our ideals without hesitation.
[video]
...Yeah. I figured that. It's...more direct than what I'm used to, but my parents did some pretty bad shit for what they believed in, and Hazel's family was inclined towards violence when it came down to it. It isn't hard to think of Giorno as my Hazel here. [A corner of her mouth turns up.] A very deadly Hazel, but a Hazel all the same. Still...
[She exhales breezily, glancing off to the side.]
Not used to missions. I stayed out of that shit as much as I could, and then I got my free out. I will if I can, sure, just... It's a fact that exists, I guess. You get me?
[video]
It's as much my duty to protect you as it is yours to do as I say.
[And that's how it works from Bruno's perspective, but it's also why he could have never been don. Being don requires a certain degree of selfishness to demand protection without needlessly jeopardizing others. Giorno has enough of that to do well. Not that he has a perfect balance just yet, mind you, but he's learning.]
[video]
[Duh? She trusts him on a lot of things. She isn't to Narancia- or Abbacchio-level devotion, not for Bruno, but he was the one that first invited her into the family and it wasn't like their relationship involved a lot of fond sighing over manipulation. Bruno was very...calming and gentle, to her.]
I know I'm enough for you and for Giorno, and Abbacchio's been letting me call him my friend, now. [Among other things.] I just [pause.] want to be accepted.
[That was stupidly hard to say, and it shows.]
I know that's a lot to ask of them.
[video]
[Still, Bruno recognizes it was a hard thing for her to say and he must respect that, so he tempers his initial reaction to think of it from her perspective for a moment. She's coming from a place where she had a family and a home (albeit one that was a little more mobile) and now inserting herself into a family that has already existed long before her joining. On top of that, she's having to learn the hierarchy and the politics that make up the backbone of their gang. And on top of that even still, she's trying to do so without just taking up space and not providing anything back. She's in a difficult position and he can appreciate that.]
They were all in the position you are in now, stellina. [Hm, no. That's not quite right. He corrects himself,] We all were. Fugo had been disinherited. Abbacchio had no direction. Narancia was homeless and ill. Mista had been thrown in jail. Giorno lacked opportunity. My father's life was in danger.
We all started from the same place you're in now, but none of us found acceptance the same exact way because we're not the same people. What worked for one of them or for me won't necessarily work for you. I can't tell you what to do and I can't make them accept you any faster than they're ready or able to.
But I can tell you that the others will accept you. It may take time and it may be a daunting task, but they will. If you had to do anything or be anyone other than exactly who you are, I wouldn't have made the offer to you. If you can't believe in yourself, then trust my judgment. [He smiles a little.] I don't make it a habit of being wrong about people after all.
[video]
...Hmn. [And the video goes awry a moment as she rights herself and sets about fixing her hair. It feels a little wrong to be hearing this, being privy even to these small pieces of them without context, but that's hers, now. Hers to consider and keep.] Yeah. Yeah, I can...trust you on that one, too.
[Even if they had no reason to consider it, even if the only reason she could give them was that she was good for conversation.]
I still want to do stuff. But I guess my stuff is kinda stuck being different for a while. Which isn't so bad.
[video]
[That's why Bruno didn't provide context. Even if she asked, the only story he'd tell is his own. It's not his place to speak of where the others come from. That's for them to eventually decided on their own if they want to tell her or not. But she did need to know that the loneliness, the difficulties in finding her place, all of it is normal. It's why they came to Passione in the first place.]
Different is good, [Bruno agrees.] I think all of us could use different every now and again.
[video]
Good thing I've got different in spades, then. I'm so good at different. Shit's going to be so different, you won't even believe it but you'll have to because nobody could possibly make up a difference like that.
[She's back.]
[video]
Then I'm glad to have something to look forward to. I was beginning to worry that things were going to start getting quiet around here even with Narancia and Fugo around.
[video]
[Okay, Bruno. Once Narancia got fully settled in, there would be little time for peace, she was sure. Though since he'd brought him up...]
Hey, so... Do we still like Fugo?
[Like, it's too late, the haunting was a thing that happened, but. Come on, she gotta know these things.]
[video]
I don't begrudge him for making his choice, if that's what you mean to ask. The others...
[Bruno sighs a little.]
They're not wrong to be angry with him or even to reject him. His decision was a betrayal to me. I didn't order him to follow and he disobeyed, but the others expected that his loyalty and trust in me should have been greater than his fears or whatever reservations he had about the task ahead of us like it was for them. And for that, the others see him as a traitor. Worse than that, they see him as a coward. Neither of those things are acceptable in our gang and I leave it to you to figure out what happens to cowards and traitors.
[Spoilers: death.]
But those aren't my feelings towards him or even Giorno's. I won't tell you whether or not you should accept him, or even whether or not you should like him, but he is still part of this family as far as Giorno and I are concerned until he says he wants out. I still have trust in him.
[But Bruno's not saying he trusts Fugo as much as he used to. He's not taking things to the extreme like the others out of respect for Fugo's ability to decide his own fate, but that doesn't mean damage wasn't still done. It doesn't mean it didn't still hurt to leave him behind because he chose to stay. There simply wasn't time for dwelling on it or worrying about it. It was meant to be something to dealt with later by Giorno, not Bruno because by then it was too late and Bruno knew that well enough. So he tucked that away in his heart, beneath what needed to be done and adding in later his grief for Abbacchio and Narancia.]
But if he says he wants out, he will walk away freely.
[It's not something Bruno knows for certain that Giorno would allow, but he'd like to believe that would be the case. At the very least, Bruno would never stop advocating for Fugo even after everything.]
[video]
Yeah, I dunno. He better impress the fuck outta me.
[This isn't even your grudge to hold, why... Just why...]
[video]
[Sometimes moms gotta let their children tussle and sort themselves out.]
[video]
...Sooo.
[Pause.]
When were you planning on the whole Stand warning thing? Not necessary, obviously, but just curious.
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