You have nothing to apologize for, Izabel. Not to me. Not over any of this.
[This is said firmly. She couldn't have known and even if she did, it still would not have been her fault in the least that Abbacchio was taken from this place.]
I know it...didn't do anything, that'd be stupid, but -- it isn't the first time this has happened. I... I even told myself I was going to stay out of it this time, because it wasn't any of my business, but I wanted to see you happy. I wanted you both to be happy.
[Izabel draws back from Sticky Fingers, taking up the zipper pull for something to do and then tracing against it, along the false collar, the zipper tracks down from where his eyes would be.]
I wanted Klara to be happy, too. I told her she should hurry up and just be with him, you know? And then he died. He died that day and I know it isn't the same -- [It's all so stupid and unfair.] Why do these things have to happen, Bruno?
[She makes herself fall silent for a while, forehead resting against Sticky Fingers's neck and hand coming back down to settle against his chest.
She shouldn't be doing this, she tells herself, except Bruno understands these feelings for Abbacchio best and Bruno was stubborn in his ways. He wanted others to get taken care of first.]
It's just not fair. [She tries for a smile, but it's so weak she doesn't even bother trying to salvage it or put up a matching tone.] He'd think I'm being so stupid right now, huh?
[Sticky Fingers rubs Izabel's back in small, slow circles as she settles back against him again.]
Most likely. [Bruno says this with a light smile. He doesn't entirely feel it for the most part, but he does to a small extent. It's hard not to.] He wouldn't want anyone making a fuss. He'd prefer it'd be like the first time.
[She loves them, but... Man, they sure are dumb. Her breathing slows a little -- always a strange tell, because she didn't really need to breath, did she? It was still something so automatic.]
...He might prefer it if we let him go quietly, but I don't think he'd actually like it if I did that. Stopped being stupid. Stopped.
[He knows what she means, surely. Has to know it's not just about her.]
For my sake, I think he'd be angry. I'd like to think that.
[Bruno hums softly in agreement. It's true. Abbacchio ultimately wouldn't want people changing on his behalf. He'd want things to remain the same, or at the very least quickly return that way. In a way, Bruno's trying to give him that. He's trying not to let this affect him. He needs to not just for Abbacchio's sake, but also for the others, including Izabel.]
The first time wasn't really my preference anyway, [Bruno admits.] He's worth more than he ever realized.
[He's worth so much more than a quiet send-off. Abbacchio would struggle to accept it and would likely never believe it, but that doesn't make it less true.]
Had there been time... [He shakes his head a little.] Mourn him the way you feel is right and in your own time, Izabel. It's what he deserves.
[Finally, Izabel shifts so that she can watch Bruno, though she remains in Sticky Fingers's arms. She'd been refused contact the last time she was in this room, so it was almost wrong to want to soak up as much as she could, now. But was horrendous.]
He's so good. So, so good...
[Abbacchio had snapped at her when she told him that.]
What if the way I want to mourn him includes making sure you're okay? Not now -- not when he's just gone, even if i want for you to be okay. But eventually. Would that be alright?
[Izabel is the third person to try and negotiate terms like this with Bruno, but his impulse is the same. He still feels the words that's not necessary and I'm fine on the tip of his tongue, ready to leave the moment he allows for it. He almost does if only because she's the third person and he can likely be more honest in saying that it's not necessary. But he bites down that impulse for a moment. Just long enough to try and consider it because...]
[She closes her eyes, for a moment touching her lips against Sticky Fingers's shoulder in lieu of Bruno's. It wasn't fully giving in, but it was closer than what she'd been able to get the last time she wanted to pry feelings out of him.]
I can't make you happy the way he does. I wouldn't want to try.
[He was too special, and too special to Bruno.]
But he would want you to be okay, too, and that's...kinda why we can't be right now, huh?
[Abbacchio's blood is on Bruno's hands more than anyone else's. Yes, it's true that Diavolo is ultimately the one that should be held responsible for Abbacchio's death since he's the one who took his life. But Abbacchio died for Bruno and Bruno's cause. That puts his death on Bruno's shoulders and it's not something that Bruno can ever truly repay regardless of whether Abbacchio is here or not.]
[But it would be so much better if he was here.]
I'm okay, stellina. [As much as he can be. As much as he needs to be. That's what he really means.] And you will be, too.
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[This is said firmly. She couldn't have known and even if she did, it still would not have been her fault in the least that Abbacchio was taken from this place.]
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[But she's still quiet and still sounds guilty.]
I know it...didn't do anything, that'd be stupid, but -- it isn't the first time this has happened. I... I even told myself I was going to stay out of it this time, because it wasn't any of my business, but I wanted to see you happy. I wanted you both to be happy.
[Izabel draws back from Sticky Fingers, taking up the zipper pull for something to do and then tracing against it, along the false collar, the zipper tracks down from where his eyes would be.]
I wanted Klara to be happy, too. I told her she should hurry up and just be with him, you know? And then he died. He died that day and I know it isn't the same -- [It's all so stupid and unfair.] Why do these things have to happen, Bruno?
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[Something to make sense of it instead of having to accept it simply as it is.]
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She shouldn't be doing this, she tells herself, except Bruno understands these feelings for Abbacchio best and Bruno was stubborn in his ways. He wanted others to get taken care of first.]
It's just not fair. [She tries for a smile, but it's so weak she doesn't even bother trying to salvage it or put up a matching tone.] He'd think I'm being so stupid right now, huh?
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Most likely. [Bruno says this with a light smile. He doesn't entirely feel it for the most part, but he does to a small extent. It's hard not to.] He wouldn't want anyone making a fuss. He'd prefer it'd be like the first time.
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[She loves them, but... Man, they sure are dumb. Her breathing slows a little -- always a strange tell, because she didn't really need to breath, did she? It was still something so automatic.]
...He might prefer it if we let him go quietly, but I don't think he'd actually like it if I did that. Stopped being stupid. Stopped.
[He knows what she means, surely. Has to know it's not just about her.]
For my sake, I think he'd be angry. I'd like to think that.
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The first time wasn't really my preference anyway, [Bruno admits.] He's worth more than he ever realized.
[He's worth so much more than a quiet send-off. Abbacchio would struggle to accept it and would likely never believe it, but that doesn't make it less true.]
Had there been time... [He shakes his head a little.] Mourn him the way you feel is right and in your own time, Izabel. It's what he deserves.
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He's so good. So, so good...
[Abbacchio had snapped at her when she told him that.]
What if the way I want to mourn him includes making sure you're okay? Not now -- not when he's just gone, even if i want for you to be okay. But eventually. Would that be alright?
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[It's what Abbacchio would want, isn't it?]
[Bruno draws a slow breath in and out.]
If it would make you feel better.
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I can't make you happy the way he does. I wouldn't want to try.
[He was too special, and too special to Bruno.]
But he would want you to be okay, too, and that's...kinda why we can't be right now, huh?
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[But it would be so much better if he was here.]
I'm okay, stellina. [As much as he can be. As much as he needs to be. That's what he really means.] And you will be, too.