[Like, she doesn't really like any of it, but what teen likes getting lectured.]
I didn't know you before it all happened so I didn't know what you were supposed to be like or if the guy I liked was really the right guy... Idk. I guess I didn't really know who I could turn to. I wanted to make things better if they were messed up but just thinking about everything...
[Even now it makes her feel sick.]
It fucking scared the shit out of me. I thought maybe you hadn't just lost physical feeling when it happened and that was why you acted like it was nothing. So I asked Abbacchio and he said he would talk to you for me.
The only thing that changed about me that night happened before I died. It happened when Diavolo tried to kill Trish. I let my father's death go unanswered for years when before I would not have hesitated to kill for even threatening his life. I let Diavolo taint my home and destroy my community.
[Somewhere along the lines, Bruno had grown complacent. He disagreed with how things were run, but he allowed them to continue without so much as a negative word about it. He just carried with him that resentment and anger in his heart, focusing solely on his own team and just watching as everything else was going to hell.]
I couldn't let him kill his daughter. Not after everything we had been through together to get her there in the first place.
I became a traitor the moment I defied him and took Trish back. If I had lived, nothing about what I chose to do would have differed. I still would have tried to kill him even at the cost of my own life. I would have given my life again and again to kill Diavolo for the crimes he committed against Napoli, against his own flesh and blood, and against me. I know it's probably difficult to see it this way after what you saw, but I'm grateful to Giorno for everything he gave me, including what he did that night. That's why I'm not upset about what happened.
You were just trying to do the right thing. You're a smart and perceptive girl and knew what you were doing. [Nobody needed to mention that Bruno and Abbacchio have a unique bond with one another for her to have noticed. (Never mind seeing Abbacchio as someone capable.) It was only natural she'd come to the conclusion that Abbacchio was the right person to talk to and have something said to Bruno.] I understand that. In other circumstances, you might have been completely right.
But you needed the help more than I did and you still might. What I went through, I went through once, knowing what I was doing and what was happening. You watched it happen over and over again, and I'm sure without the full context. I don't really mean to compare or minimize either, but those are important differences. Things with me could have waited until after you were feeling up to talking to me yourself if it was still a concern to you.
You need to be sure to take care of yourself first sometimes, stellina.
[He's not saying it verbatim, but he's essentially saying the same thing Abbacchio told him. In part because it is still so fresh in his mind, but also because he can see her doing the same exact thing he does. Bruno would never say he's someone to look up to much less begin emulating incidentally or intentionally. But out of all his habits, this isn't one he recommends.]
[A good amount of time passes before Bruno actually gets a response.]
Fucking hell did they teach speech writing in the mafia stop being good at words all of you because now I need to sit here and not cry. That's not a thing I was expecting to have to do today.
Oh okay so you just have a lot of confidence in my ability. That's pretty cool.
Let's see... First was with Mista/SP and I just went out with Mista on the 4th [HEE HEE] aaaand gotta get to planning with another dude that just showed up in the city.
I'd include Kakyoin and Reimi but they wouldn't consider them to be dates. I mean, I don't THINK Reimi'd be into it...
[Okay, but just because you didn't have it the whole time doesn't mean it never came up and Mista wasn't still quietly obsessing over it somewhere in the back of his mind. Bruno says none of this, mind you, but he sure is thinking it.]
I'm surprised you could convince him to go out with you on a night like that.
Aw my first rejection. Buuuut I guess I shouldn't be surprised.
[Mostly because their relationship made it even more "ha ha, no" than the others, which were "ha ha, no" enough what with her liking girls and all. But also because yeah, dude, you're a little married.]
[It was a little odd. Saying she was in Passione still seemed offlimits, not quite right, but she was definitely a part of it, and that, somehow, was different. Still good.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
[night text; november 6.]
I understand.
[Like, she doesn't really like any of it, but what teen likes getting lectured.]
I didn't know you before it all happened so I didn't know what you were supposed to be like or if the guy I liked was really the right guy... Idk. I guess I didn't really know who I could turn to. I wanted to make things better if they were messed up but just thinking about everything...
[Even now it makes her feel sick.]
It fucking scared the shit out of me. I thought maybe you hadn't just lost physical feeling when it happened and that was why you acted like it was nothing. So I asked Abbacchio and he said he would talk to you for me.
[night text; november 6.]
[Somewhere along the lines, Bruno had grown complacent. He disagreed with how things were run, but he allowed them to continue without so much as a negative word about it. He just carried with him that resentment and anger in his heart, focusing solely on his own team and just watching as everything else was going to hell.]
I couldn't let him kill his daughter. Not after everything we had been through together to get her there in the first place.
I became a traitor the moment I defied him and took Trish back. If I had lived, nothing about what I chose to do would have differed. I still would have tried to kill him even at the cost of my own life. I would have given my life again and again to kill Diavolo for the crimes he committed against Napoli, against his own flesh and blood, and against me. I know it's probably difficult to see it this way after what you saw, but I'm grateful to Giorno for everything he gave me, including what he did that night. That's why I'm not upset about what happened.
You were just trying to do the right thing. You're a smart and perceptive girl and knew what you were doing. [Nobody needed to mention that Bruno and Abbacchio have a unique bond with one another for her to have noticed. (Never mind seeing Abbacchio as someone capable.) It was only natural she'd come to the conclusion that Abbacchio was the right person to talk to and have something said to Bruno.] I understand that. In other circumstances, you might have been completely right.
But you needed the help more than I did and you still might. What I went through, I went through once, knowing what I was doing and what was happening. You watched it happen over and over again, and I'm sure without the full context. I don't really mean to compare or minimize either, but those are important differences. Things with me could have waited until after you were feeling up to talking to me yourself if it was still a concern to you.
You need to be sure to take care of yourself first sometimes, stellina.
[He's not saying it verbatim, but he's essentially saying the same thing Abbacchio told him. In part because it is still so fresh in his mind, but also because he can see her doing the same exact thing he does. Bruno would never say he's someone to look up to much less begin emulating incidentally or intentionally. But out of all his habits, this isn't one he recommends.]
[night text; november 6.]
Fucking hell did they teach speech writing in the mafia stop being good at words all of you because now I need to sit here and not cry. That's not a thing I was expecting to have to do today.
[night text; november 6.]
[night text; november 6.]
[night text; november 6.]
[night text; november 6.]
[Yes, this is good, let's do this.]
[night text; november 6.]
[night text; november 6.]
Let's see... First was with Mista/SP and I just went out with Mista on the 4th [HEE HEE] aaaand gotta get to planning with another dude that just showed up in the city.
I'd include Kakyoin and Reimi but they wouldn't consider them to be dates. I mean, I don't THINK Reimi'd be into it...
[night text; november 6.]
[...Izabel...]
[night text; november 6.]
[And 2 x 2 is...]
:)
[night text; november 6.]
[He's not condoning this, okay. He's not.]
[night text; november 6.]
[night text; november 6.]
I'm surprised you could convince him to go out with you on a night like that.
[night text; november 6.]
[YEP...]
[night text; november 6.]
[night text; november 6.]
[night text; november 6.]
[night text; november 6.]
[Mostly because their relationship made it even more "ha ha, no" than the others, which were "ha ha, no" enough what with her liking girls and all. But also because yeah, dude, you're a little married.]
[night text; november 6.]
[night text; november 6.]
[It was a little odd. Saying she was in Passione still seemed offlimits, not quite right, but she was definitely a part of it, and that, somehow, was different. Still good.]
[night text; november 6.]
[night text; november 6.]
[night text; november 6.]
[night text; november 6.]
[night text; november 6.]
[night text; november 6.]
[night text; november 6.]