[Polnareff's anger and hurt are palpable. He knows that he's restraining it, keeping them both down just beneath a thin layer of the surface, but Bruno can still feel it. He can feel it in Polnareff's gaze on him, in the way he's propped himself up now. And he knows he deserves it. Or rather, he doesn't deserve Polnareff holding any of it back because if being angry with Bruno makes it ache a little less, Bruno would gladly accept all the ire in the world even if that difference in pain is nearly negligible. Bruno tightens his grip on his fingertips.]
[He doesn't have a leg to stand on here. He can't ask for or tell Polnareff to do anything. Bruno knows that he's lying through omission because to do anything else... Bruno's fingers slip free to rest against the pulse point on his wrist. He shouldn't be lying. But he doesn't know how to tell the truth without giving Polnareff false hope and Bruno doesn't think he could ever forgive himself if he managed to do something like that. He lowers his head to remove Polnareff completely from his periphery through a combination of angle and hair falling in his face.]
[. . .]
[It wasn't supposed to be like this. This day. Out here. It wasn't supposed to be like this. Bruno squeezes his eyes shut tight, looking at the dancing after-image in the darkness beneath his eyelids. Part of him, only a small part, wants to simply curl around the dull ache he feels in the pit of his chest and leave it at that. But he won't here and now. Bruno worries his lower lip for a brief second before he opens his eyes again. He lifts his head.]
I'm sorry, I can'tâ [Bruno shakes his head a little. He's being unfair. He shouldn't have said anything. He reacted too quickly and should have just shouldered the sting of Polnareff's words without saying anything because that's the fair and responsible thing to do. He pulls his fingers away from his pulse.] I'm sorry.
no subject
[He doesn't have a leg to stand on here. He can't ask for or tell Polnareff to do anything. Bruno knows that he's lying through omission because to do anything else... Bruno's fingers slip free to rest against the pulse point on his wrist. He shouldn't be lying. But he doesn't know how to tell the truth without giving Polnareff false hope and Bruno doesn't think he could ever forgive himself if he managed to do something like that. He lowers his head to remove Polnareff completely from his periphery through a combination of angle and hair falling in his face.]
[. . .]
[It wasn't supposed to be like this. This day. Out here. It wasn't supposed to be like this. Bruno squeezes his eyes shut tight, looking at the dancing after-image in the darkness beneath his eyelids. Part of him, only a small part, wants to simply curl around the dull ache he feels in the pit of his chest and leave it at that. But he won't here and now. Bruno worries his lower lip for a brief second before he opens his eyes again. He lifts his head.]
I'm sorry, I can'tâ [Bruno shakes his head a little. He's being unfair. He shouldn't have said anything. He reacted too quickly and should have just shouldered the sting of Polnareff's words without saying anything because that's the fair and responsible thing to do. He pulls his fingers away from his pulse.] I'm sorry.