[If Bruno were being less attentive to Polnareff, it's possible that he might not have noticed at all. He might have remained distracted by another warm bubble of irresistible laughter and this game they're playing with each other. But Bruno is almost always attentive to other people regardless of what's happening and that's especially so when he's intent on avoiding another shove. But he's managed to get a few steps ahead, turned around and walking backwards with his eyes on Polnareff so he doesn't miss a second of it. He sees that smile and Polnareff biting his bottom lip. He sees that look in his eyes.]
[It should be like a jolt when someone looks at you like that. Bruno knows that. He does. But all he feels instead is a sinking feeling and when he purses his lips this time, it's to hold his smile in place rather than to stop any abrupt laughter. It's a sinking, low feeling that he wishes he didn't feel because it comes coupled with guilt because he sees it now. He sees all the little warning signs that this was happening now, that Polnareff's playfulness began taking on a different meaning. And all those questions...]
[Bruno shouldn't have— He should have noticed sooner. He should have noticed sooner and changed the course. He should have kept that professional distance, but he didn't because...because...]
[Merda! he thinks sharply as he turns his back to Polnareff, only then allowing his expression to drop far closer to something that he actually feels. He wasn't careful. He wasn't careful and in the end, Polnareff is going to be the one that's going to end up hurt. When Polnareff looks at someone like that, they should feel that jolt. He deserves that.]
[He deserves more than Bruno can give him.]
I am a little bit, [he says, barely missing a beat. He's making himself smile again to keep his voice light and just a simple regression to his usual quiet. But he is. He's so very sorry. More than Polnareff will probably ever know. Bruno moves his hands in front of himself, fingertips reaching for pulse point. He breathes slow to quiet a racing heartbeat.]
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[It should be like a jolt when someone looks at you like that. Bruno knows that. He does. But all he feels instead is a sinking feeling and when he purses his lips this time, it's to hold his smile in place rather than to stop any abrupt laughter. It's a sinking, low feeling that he wishes he didn't feel because it comes coupled with guilt because he sees it now. He sees all the little warning signs that this was happening now, that Polnareff's playfulness began taking on a different meaning. And all those questions...]
[Bruno shouldn't have— He should have noticed sooner. He should have noticed sooner and changed the course. He should have kept that professional distance, but he didn't because...because...]
[Merda! he thinks sharply as he turns his back to Polnareff, only then allowing his expression to drop far closer to something that he actually feels. He wasn't careful. He wasn't careful and in the end, Polnareff is going to be the one that's going to end up hurt. When Polnareff looks at someone like that, they should feel that jolt. He deserves that.]
[He deserves more than Bruno can give him.]
I am a little bit, [he says, barely missing a beat. He's making himself smile again to keep his voice light and just a simple regression to his usual quiet. But he is. He's so very sorry. More than Polnareff will probably ever know. Bruno moves his hands in front of himself, fingertips reaching for pulse point. He breathes slow to quiet a racing heartbeat.]